How to Survive Camp Crystal Lake | Slash Course | NowThis Nerd

– Hello everyone, I am Andrew, and here on Slash Course, we specialize in how to kill horror's most vicious villains, but this week, we're doing something a little different – Hey, did you guys hear that? (laughing) – We're shining a light on the survivors of Jason Voorhees, to see what it takes to escape from Camp Blood with your head on your shoulders

Crystal Lake is New Jersey's premier destination for city kid campers, clueless teenage counselors, and a hockey masked serial killer So if you don't wanna spend your summer in the morgue, listen up, because this is how to survive Camp Crystal Lake Jason's reign of terror racked up the highest body count in all of horror, but diving into Crystal Lake, doesn't have to be a death sentence So we've gathered some do's and don'ts from the 'Friday' franchise Number one, don't play pranks

(screaming) The best way to ensure a painful death at the hands of a hockey masked madman is to be that guy You know that guy The one who's always playing hilarious tricks on his friends, like pretending to drown, shooting arrows at strangers, or scaring your buddies with a mask and harpoon gun – Darn it, Shelly Why do you do these stupid things? – I just want you to like me

– If there's one thing Jason hates more than, well, humanity, I guess, it's a jovial prankster Even worse, if you get a rep for crying wolf, no one will believe you when Jason actually slashes your jugular, so please be respectful to your fellow campers because, it's just a prank, bro, doesn't cut it at Crystal Lake (frogs croaking) – Stop foolin' around, man! – It's just a prank, bro it's just a prank We get it, you're like a, like a real son of a [Beep] (laughing) – I guess I fooled ya, huh? – Besides, there's plenty of fun to be had without resorting to buffoonery, so don't feel the need to abstain – Sex, sex, sex, you guys are getting boring, you know that? – What would a weekend in the country be without sex? – One of the oldest slasher tropes is that the final girl must be pure, she doesn't smoke, she doesn't drink, she doesn't have premarital sex, and thus she is saved from the hands of the killer

But the sole survivors don't have to be teetotaling virgins Alice, the first 'Friday' final girl, plays strip Monopoly, downs a beer or two, and yes, partakes of the wacky tabaccy, if you know what I'm saying – Don't smoke, it causes cancer – You know what I mean, what'd you just get off a spaceship or something? Columbian ghoul man, grass, hash, the weed, they got – But in the end she's the one who kicks the killer's butt

Okay, I mean, to be fair, her luck does run out when she finally runs into Pam's baby boy, but Alice is far from the only non-sober survivor in the series Hell, drinking, drugs, and debauchery, might actually save your life Tell that to my parents Hi, mom [Beep] Ted, from 'Part 2' is the living definition of dead meat, he's an annoying joker just begging for a machete right to the face

– Come and get 'em – But he survives the night by basically saying, you know what, I'm good Instead of helping you find the maniac in the burlap sack, I'm just gonna go chill at this bar in town and get wasted So don't be afraid to have some fun Be like Ted

– You guys quittin' already? – Ted, you'd have me out til breakfast if I let you – You are on vacation, after all But just be sure to use your head (spooky music) If you wanna survive Jason, you need to understand Jason, man So what do we know about the guy? I mean, really, what do we know? He's big, he's strong, and he's invulnerable

But he's not the sharpest tool in the shed Hey now (screaming) ♪ Somebody once told me ♪ He's also terrified of water, which being drowned will do to you, although be warned, his hydrophobia has been inconsistent throughout the series Finally, we know that Jason is the ultimate momma's boy, and more than a few survivors have used this knowledge to psych out the slasher Sure, you might have to wear a rotting sweater that some old lady got her head chopped off in, but Jason isn't too quick on the draw

– Jason, mother is talking to you – Jason, mother is talking to you – And while he's trying to figure out why his mom is alive, and saying something to him other than kee kee kee ha ha ha, you could bury a machete in his shoulder and get the hell outta there Jason's mommy issues are ripe for exploitation by clever campers, just hock a couple yo mama jokes his way – Your momma's so short she got her head chopped off

– But you can also get into his head if you embrace your inner child – I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if we should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take – Jason is the ultimate case of arrested development Hey, that's the name of the show No attention span, can't even carry on a typical

Michael thought he'd spotted the man who threatened him earlier A monster of a man who essentially stopped aging at 11 – You know, the only person ever known was his mother? He never went to school so he never had any friends

She was everything to him – I can relate, but despite his reputation as a mindless menace, even this killer has a code For example, animals are off limits (meowing) Sure, in the early days, Jason would hunt for subsistence, and he may or may not have ripped a cute little dog to shreds in part two, but generally, he's a staunch defender of animal rights PETA would like Jason

(slashing) Jason also has a strict no kid killing policy Unlike your Freddies and your Michael Meyerses, he won't harm anyone under the age of 13 Yes, I hear you, and I know that 'Part 4' is all about killing little Tommy Jarvis, but apparently he just missed the cutoff And subsequent sequels have shown Jason completely ignoring kids and in some cases, actually befriending them Now, there's no turning back the hands of time, but if Tommy managed to make Jason believe he was his younger self, maybe you could trick him into thinking you're a tween by, I don't know, flossing, playing 'Fortnite?' (laughing) I can't floss, is that apparent? I'm 12

(beep) and if there's no way you'll pass as a preteen, maybe he'll go easy on you if you tell him how much you've donated to the World Wildlife Fund? If you have a rescue? Point is, not everyone's a target, so don't go out of your way to make yourself one And by that I mean, don't preach – Goody cap lad, ain'tcha? – God darn it, Ralph, get outta here Go on, get, leave people alone – Crystal Lake is home to all sorts of doomsayers, street preachers, and other generally unpleasant people who can't wait to yell at you about how you're gonna die

Now, despite performing a valuable public service, these bearers of bad omens don't usually live to see their prophecies play out Crazy Ralph loves booze, his bike, and barking prophecy at anyone who will listen – It's got a death curse – He's a real prophet o' doom, ain't he? – But even with all that foresight, he sure didn't see that barbed wire necklace coming Same with the nameless deckhand in 'Part 8

' No one believes him that Jason is on board, and before he can say I told you so, he's butchered with an ax to the back Jason's arch-nemesis Creighton Duke isn't shy about telling the world of the slasher's secrets, but even he can't escape the guy's brutal back-breaking bear hug Now, it's possible that Duke survived, much like Abel from part three, the rare exception of a doomsayers dodging death But do you really wanna take that risk? I understand you just wanna help So do annoying reply guys on Twitter, but no one will believe you anyway, which brings us to our next point, don't be a dude

– Where's this coming from? (spooky music) – Sorry fellas, but I'm not exactly going out on a limb by saying that, on average, women are way more likely to live through a horror movie – Are they all dead? – Yes, ma'am – Women are 504% of the population, but they're 65% of Jason Voorhees' survivors if you include androids So, while it's not exactly an ironclad rule, your chances of survival are statistically superior if you're on the female side of the gender spectrum

Now, hashtag not all men are doomed to die, but the ones that live tend to be the fairly useless boyfriends of the true heroin – Jason, where's Jason? – I took care of it – So if you're a cishet dude chillin' at Crystal Lake, be good to your girl, because she's gonna carry your ass through to the credits And listen to her if she suggests that you guys change scenery Now, Crystal Lake hasn't been home to a functioning summer camp for a very long time, but the camp's not the only reason to visit

There's the lake itself, surrounded by dozens of lodges and cabins, as well as a peaceful little town complete with a charming diner that's happy to cash in on a local legend Capitalism, sellin' french fries with murder – This makes the whole milk patty Hank's, the two for one burger sandwich – It's even home to a high tech government research facility so why would anyone want to leave? Especially a true blue Jersey boy like Jason

Crystal Lake gives Jason a canonical home field advantage, depending on how canon you consider 'Freddy vs Jason' So the simplest survival solution is simply to get the heck outta Dodge Sounds easy enough, right? I mean, it's not that hard to do in the video game Unless of course, someone in your party runs off with the car battery, Shane

(beep) Sometimes Jason is hesitant to leave his territory, but we've also seen him pursue his prey to the ends of the Earth and beyond Still, he seems to be more vulnerable outside of his home turf Take him across the Hudson and expose him to the sewage of New York City and that bad boy will melt right away, presumably from the same ingredient in our water that makes our bagels so damn delicious Springwood, Ohio, neuters Jason to Freddy Kreuger's kid sidekick and even with the sleek cyborg upgrade in outer space, he seems confused and out of his element, a fact that you can use to your advantage – Turf variations using data file Crystal Lake 1908

– Hey, wanna beer? – Or do you wanna smoke some pot? – But, if you can't escape and you can't face him on friendlier ground, then I'm afraid there's only one option left, fight back (screaming) (groaning) It's not an enviable predicament, but depending on when you visit Crystal Lake, you might be able to throw down with the Camp Blood killer Now, Pam Voorhess was a helluva slasher, but she wasn't exactly the most resilient And, early in his career, Jason was still human Granted, a human who could survive an ax to the head, but he still felt that pain

(groaning) Now, if you're squaring up against the rotting, regenerating, revenant Jason, your chances shrink dramatically Do not, under any circumstances, try to one v one zombie Jason It's not gonna end well It's like one v one-ing a Yasuo on Summoner's Rift, you just don't wanna do it Your odds improve if you happen to have telekinetic powers but even then, it's purely last resort

Honestly, if your goal is to kill Jason Voorhess, well, Kya's got you covered But if you're solely focused on surviving camp Crystal Lake, we can pretty much boil it down to one word, run – You're doomed, you're all doomed (spooky music)

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