How to Kill the Avengers (No Endgame Spoilers) | NowThis Nerd

Hi everyone, I’m Andrew, and this time on 'How to Kill,' we’re gonna do whatever it takes Earth’s mightiest heroes have saved the world a hundred times over, but since Thanos just handed them their butts in ‘Infinity War,’ we thought we’d make a handy-dandy guide for all you wannabe world conquerors out there, before the Avengers inevitably return after ‘Endgame

’ So, shine up your shield, unleash your androids, and snap your fingers, because this is How to Kill the Avengers Now, we’re not talking about individual Avengers, if we went through every time Tony and Steve died, we’d be here till MCU Phase 6 We’re also not gonna go over all the times the Avengers disbanded, because superhero shakeups have been part of the formula since issue #16 Who cares if a band breaks up, you know what I mean? Broke up? Like a band? Like the Beatles? Instead, we’re running down the rare occasions when the Avengers faced an antagonist so almighty, that damn near the entire team was destroyed, like the time they were killed by Korvac Who would have thought that one of the Avengers’ deadliest foes would begin life as an IT guy? I've got a ruddy gun! Michael Korvac was born in the year 2997, in the alternate Earth-691 inhabited by the original Guardians of the Galaxy The computer technician-turned-cyborg eventually made his way to Earth-616, where he stumbled across the space station of Galactus When Korvac tried to download the Eater of Worlds’ data, he was accidentally imbued with the Power Cosmic, and reformed into an omnipotent, all-powerful being, one who could potentially destroy the Elders of the Universe themselves

This is why you uninstall Limewire on the family computer! One said Elder, the Collector, realizes that Korvac is bad news, so he gives his daughter Carina a massive power upgrade to take him down Unfortunately, she falls in love with Korvac, and the two settle down in Forest Hills, Aw! If you don't know Forest Hills is a beautiful neighborhood in Queens, New York <i>It's a little far out for me</i> Little far out for all of us, I think but when their ruse is exposed, the two are forced into battle against the Avengers, and they wipe the freakin' floor with them

On some Shamwow stuff On some this isn't even fair stuff Now, this one is kind of on the Avengers, instead of teaming up for a unified strategic strike, they just kind of attack him individually like ninjas in a bad Chuck Norris movie One by one, the Avengers fall to his cosmic blasts, Quicksilver, Hawkeye, Ms and Captain Marvel, Black Panther, the Wasp, Wonder Man and more are all killed by Korvac, but when he senses doubt from his lover Carina, he’s overcome by the horror of his actions, takes his own life, and with his last breath restores the fallen heroes

The 1978 saga is one of the most legendary ‘Avengers’ arcs of all time, but it would be far from the last time the team was wiped out, like when they fell before the might of Onslaught Today, with the Avengers being such a pop culture powerhouse, it’s easy to forget how little people cared about them compared to the X-Men in the ‘90s, but back then, mutants were money, while Earth’s Mightiest Heroes were pretty much C-listers That’s why, in 1996, Marvel decided to revamp pretty much all of their non-X-Men characters, with the colossal crossover known as ‘Onslaught’ The titular terror was a psionic being born when an enraged Professor X shut down Magneto’s mind, after the Master of Magnetism nearly killed Wolverine by ripping the adamantium from his bones When their two consciousnesses touched, Magneto’s hate and rage infected Xavier’s vast psychic power, resulting in a massively powerful entity that quickly conquered Manhattan with an army of Sentinels With the combined psychic power of Professor X and Franklin Richards, the beyond-omega mutant son of Reed and Sue Richards seemingly nothing could stop the onslaught of Onslaught

Even a fully unleashed Hulk could only destroy its armor, and the resulting explosion actually separated Banner and the beast, but he did create a tiny opportunity to strike The disembodied Onslaught couldn’t be harmed physically, so the Avengers and the Fantastic Four entered the energy being and destroyed it from within, seemingly sacrificing themselves in the process The survivors mourned the loss, but as it turned out, the heroes weren’t dead, they were just reborn in a pocket universe created by Franklin, which allowed Marvel to hand their less-edgy heroes off to the superstar artists who split for Image, like Jim Lee and Rob Liefeld, and reboot them into roidy magoo monstrosities befitting of the ‘90s, NO! This one is MINE! much like Batman, Spider-Man, Superman, and pretty much every comic character of the era Surprising no one, the experiment was a massive failure, and the original heroes quickly returned The post-’Onslaught’ Avengers were a welcome sight, and the resulting run by Kurt Busiek and George Perez is one of the greatest in the team’s long and storied history, but alas, all good things must come to an end, and the Avengers were eventually Disassembled The Avengers were still struggling by the mid 2000s, so Marvel decided to shake things up by taking a page from the Distinguished Competition

Much like Grant Morrision rejuvenated the Justice League by ditching all the second-tier spinoffs, and bringing all of DC’s heavy hitters back together, Marvel hoped to boost the Avengers by making a new team with their most popular heroes like Spidey and Wolverine But before the New Avengers could debut, they had to get rid of the old ones Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! Here's one! I'm not dead! What? Spring cleaning, baby Enter the controversial crossover ‘Avengers: Disassembled’ One day, seemingly out of nowhere, the reanimated corpse of former member Jack of Hearts shows up on the mansion’s doorstep, and detonates in an explosion that kills Ant-Man Scott Lang

Then, the Vision crashes a Quinjet into the smoking remains of the Avengers HQ, before puking out a bunch of silver balls that transform into an army of indestructible Ultrons Sounds like my Friday night! The resulting battle makes She-Hulk go berzerk, and she tears the synthezoid in half If that wasn’t bad enough, a fleet of Kree warships materializes in the sky, which leads Hawkeye to make a heroically stupid sacrifice One only befitting of Hawkeye Why not just take the quiver off, dude? It turns out, none of the attacks were actually real, they were a result of an insane Scarlet Witch manipulating reality with her Chaos magic

Basically, Jan Van Dyne had too much wine by the pool one day, and made a crack about Wanda’s kids not being real, which caused the Witch to snap and unleash hell on her former teammates In the aftermath, the old Avengers were disbanded, the mutants were decimated, and Marvel fans across the world were unhappy It was just a dour, depressing storyline that left a bad taste in fans’ mouths, nearly ruined beloved characters, and killed off even more in a half-assed attempt to move more comics What can I say? It's part of my contract Within a few years, nearly the entire thing was retconned

All four of the fallen Avengers returned by various means, and Marvel revealed that Wanda was being manipulated by, who else, Doctor Doom Still, at least we got the amazing ‘Young Avengers’ series out of the whole mess, that's a win Now, it doesn’t always take an out-of-character betrayal to kill the Avengers, especially when you’re a mad Titan with nearly limitless power, because for Thanos, killing the Avengers was a Snap Stop me if you heard this one before: Titan meets the embodiment of the ethereal concept of Death, Titan falls in love, secures the most powerful weapon in existence, and destroys half of all life in the universe just to impress his new crush I've been there MY LADY! PROTECT ME!!! Not only that, but he makes mincemeat out of the surviving heroes too, even when he limits his powers to prove a point

He suffocates Cyclops, shatters Thor, and smothers Namor and She-Hulk With his total victory, Thanos leaves his physical body behind, which gives his granddaughter Nebula the chance to steal the gauntlet for herself Adam Warlock convinces the now-powerless Thanos into helping the good guys, and he fools his former protege into restoring the Universe back to its previous state, and bringing all the Avengers back to life Obviously, Jim Starlin’s saga is the foundation for ‘Infinity War,’ although the movie makes some drastic differences Mistress Death is nowhere to be found, and instead Thanos is driven by a despicable desire for balance

As all things should be He also doesn’t personally end the lives of any Avengers except for Gamora, Vision, and Loki, who lets face it, doesn’t really count Also Heimdall, not an Avenger, but made me cry the most Still, the snap decimated the Marvel Cinematic Universe, turning dozens of heroes who could shift the tide of battle to dust All hope seems lost, and while we can tell you How to Kill the Avengers, until 'Endgame,' bringing them back is anyone’s guess

What's the opposite of a snap?

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*


This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.